83. Engage
How we must. Accept, endure, forge, prevail. Designing a pentaptych, watercolor prototypes, healing with a ham sandwich.
I finished drafting this on Tuesday the 5th during a flight. When I arrived at my destination it was almost midnight; I was too tired to review and send. Suddenly it was the next morning, with NYT’s homepage screaming: “Stunning Return to Power After a Dark and Defiant Campaign.” Deliriously, I thought of the headline heralding Voldemort’s return in Harry Potter. Given the state of things, I wanted to postpone this issue. It’s been a week now, during which I turned to community and small joyful things. If anything, may this letter serve as a portal back to the beforetimes. Not as an escape so much as just time travel. I hope it contributes some quiet comfort of its own.
I’m on a flight as I write this. It’s election day in the United States far below, where I am resident and citizen.
Yes, I voted. Early, by post, and with the enthusiasm of roadkill. But I voted.
I’m sitting next to a genteel couple in their 60s. They give off vaguely outdoorsy, lefty-hippie vibes, but no clues offer anything else about their political leanings. I spy an “I voted” sticker on a sweater somewhere across the aisle, above which, a flashing smile. Today, people seem surprisingly smiley. Strangers look up as I pass, make eye contact, beam. It feels ironic given how wide, and personal, the American chasm has become.
I was listening to This American Life the other day, and the latest episode, “A tiny thing that gives me hope,” told stories about politically divided romantic relationships. I remember marveling at the hostilities and loneliness that exist in our most intimate relationships: with friends, family, partners.
One of the stories was about a conservative 27 year-old from Brooklyn who finally found a liberal gal who would date him. This made me think, also, about the importance of engaging sympathetically—despite short-term failures—with those who believe and value differently.
Such engagement is in fact a baseline practice used by peacemakers in times of war.
In the studio
Repetitions, my watercolor triptych, just came back from Hana Makgeolli’s Tasting Room. It spent a month there as a part of Savored Connections, a group exhibit by KAAC of which I’m a member.
I’m now working on another set of paintings, this time in pentaptych. They’re watercolors too, but larger, and conceptually more challenging.
At the recent New Yorker Festival in Manhattan, Julie Mehretu talked about having the hands lead the head because “it’s daunting if you think [too much] about [making art]. So,” she added, “I just don’t.”
When in unfamiliar territory with visual work, I myself move first and think “later;” otherwise it’s easy to lose momentum and drive.
The way I put it to someone recently is that I try to stay ahead of doubt, maintaining distance from whatever it’s vocalizing downwind. Sometimes I flag, and the thinking voice catches up to me. I push forward almost brutishly then, in order to feel more in the body and less in the mind.
I can also step more sure-footedly by not being precious. I use cheap paper to test ideas, being outlandish, even brash if I want. Iterating with impunity is freeing.
Painting small, scanning in, and blowing up in test prints, also lets me move faster.
I enjoy this way of working, a lot. Often I’ll look up and see that many hours have passed, and feel full with the progress that I have made.
Member support helped me replace two paint brushes this week. As you may know, art supplies are…not cheap.
Provisions
Take in good things, to make good things.
Thomas Keller’s butternut squash soup · Recipe
This was bomb. Yes, I made the bouquet garni. Yes, it was worth the effort, though I roasted the whole thing instead of just the bulb, used high quality chicken bouillon instead of making my own stock, and went easier on the garlic as well as the honey.Ripley · TV
I loved this cinematic eight-part series on Netflix. I found Tom to be an oddly sympathetic character full of longing for, and adoration of, beautiful things; capable of both the terrible and the sublime. I was rooting for him. The soundtrack is lovely too.Giant Robot: Thirty Years of Defining Asian American Pop Culture · Book
For the Jenny Shimizu interview alone! Each copy is also signed.The New Yorker Festival · Interviews
They’re streaming these online for free (not sure for how long). Those of you who don’t live in NYC, or found the cost of attending prohibitive—this is a great way to enjoy some of the conversations that took place.Every Which Way · Exhibit
A major installation from 2015 by Richard Serra (1938–2024) just opened at David Zwirner’s 20th Street gallery. Until December 14th.
Members, read on below for a closer look at work in progress.
Everyone else, I hope you enjoyed the micro essay and the views over my shoulder so far. I also moved Provisions (inspo) above the paywall this issue for ya! Appreciate you.