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38. Feeling

How we sit with discomfort. Doing what we want. A 20 second micro-short looped to music montage.

The work you do while you procrastinate is probably the work you should be doing for the rest of your life.
—Jessica Hische


The past month has been rough. The things I need to witness, take care of, and be involved in, continue; will continue. This, of course, is true for all of us.

I’ve been sitting with my discomfort; working alongside it, being alone with it, trying to feel versus think.

In such a space, I’m both destructive and self-nurturing. I crave whiskey but also green juice (not simultaneously—yet). Ochazuke and kitchari have been on repeat meal rotation. I take very long walks, look at things other people have made, sleep briefly.

I’ve never been able to work well in distress—but somehow this time I’m able to consider ideas, evolution, possibility.

Right this minute, I’m able to do what I want to be doing.

I’ve been wanting to bust out of rhythm

after Chamoe, to hone and flex different muscles, experiment. Still, I found myself returning again and again to familiar patterns, and that’s been making me feel stifled, at limit.

The past few weeks I worked on telling a story that arises through feeling. A 20 second micro-short surfaced. Some clips below.




I printed out “Prayer” and inked it against a light box:

Sumi ink and graphite on paper

Partly I wanted to do different, explore, push—but I also can’t deny how much paper and paint breathe life into digital lines.

The composite.

The texture of the paper, the little spills, smudges, and artifacts, enrich the telling:

The clip, run backwards. Even test lines and “mistakes” seem to add something to the story in a way that feels unique to the medium.

I used a camera to capture painted frames. It’s a lot faster than scanning, and the quality is good; I’m a fan. This was my photographing “rig:”

Studio lamp (Canvas), where I’d level the phone on the magnet. I used their bluetooth trigger to snap the shots.

I like how “Prayer” feels, painted, and will explore painting the full 20 seconds.

There’s something hypnotic

about the synergy between image and sound—the pictures on loop, over and over again—with new music shifting the story, every time. I love how two made things can come together to create something totally new.

Members, see what I mean in the full video preview (micro-short looped 9x for about 3 minutes). I also include the song list, pages from the sketchbook, and some closing thoughts, below.

Everyone else, see you next time.

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